Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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