The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
