I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
