he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
