You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Dignity is for republicans.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
