What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
