I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
