Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
