obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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