i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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