I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
