That's when you crack a 10am beer
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
