I got chris browned last night
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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