And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
