Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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