no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
