Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Say something about gay babies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
