A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
