Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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