so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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