WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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