just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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