it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
