in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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