someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
