i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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