I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize