i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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