operation harelip BJ is a go
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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