I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can vaginas get frostbite?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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