she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Come see our sink grown plant.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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