my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
