Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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