I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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