So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize