You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
