lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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