what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
