Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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