You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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