I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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