Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
