If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
