I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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