she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
