I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
