Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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