i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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