Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
