She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
