Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
