My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
