If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
