Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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