You really coming over, don't trick.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
