I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize