You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
