1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
