i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
