Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
