I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
