he wants to bone in the snuggie
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
