was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
