I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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