Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
