What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
